I sit here, with tears running freely down my face as I recall the journey that has brought us to this point. I also look at this image of my little princess and my heart fills with joy, pride and endless happiness. If it were not for this little girl, I would never have experienced the utter power of the love a mother can experience. She is a bundle of kindness, generosity, loyalty, sweetness and giggle filled joy – and she has brought this upon me too. I never believed it possible a young child could teach me things about maturity, philanthropy, hope and giving – but she has done all that and more.
There are only the 2 of us in our little family (apart from our beautiful pets)…but it is a little family with a bond that runs so deep it gives me goosebumps when I think about it. Our little family is about to embark on a HUGE journey. This journey will be filled with ups and downs, tears of joy and happiness, and hopefully at the end of it – another little bundle of hope, joy and laughter. This journey is going to be a tough one, it has already been a very tough one to get to the point we are at. We have no control of the outcome, but we will give it all that we have.
The journey I am talking about is that of surrogacy. I debated whether or not to discuss the story of what brought us to this point….I may do in the future – but not now. Right now…I want to focus on the hope. It has been traumatic over the past few years with battles with my health, and yes…has left me unable to carry my own child. But this story is not only about that. Right now – we have hope. Let me tell you part of that story…
12 months ago, Miss 7 and I were talking in bed. She came out with this “Mummy, did you know that before I was born, I was able to pick any mummy in the whole wide world?”….”Mummy, I got to pick out of anyone, and I picked you because I could see you were the best out of everyone”. “Mummy, when I picked you, another baby wanted you too…her name was Jasmine. She told me to go first, and she would wait for you and we could be sisters”. I looked at her and smiled. We had often talked about wanting another child, and her absolute desire to have a little brother or sister. But this, and the way she said it – blew me away. Several months later, after yet another few surgeries, she came back and said “mummy…Jasmine is still waiting, I was talking to her last night and she really wants to come now”. Miss 7 had tears in her eyes – it was then I realised her heart ached as much as mine did. She has so much love to give, so much generosity to share and will make the most beautiful big sister in the world. I have not been the only one craving this child.
It also hit home when my father became terribly terribly ill several months ago. My sisters and I, and his brother’s and sisters were all a fort of strength and support, not only for him – but for each other. In an instant…there were family from all over Australia by his bedside. This is what life is about. Life is about family, love and hope. My body has let me down, but our spirit, strength and desire are stronger than ever.
This blog is so that I have a place to tell my story, tell our story and share the human side of surrogacy. It is often a controversial subject thanks to the media often surrounding it, however, when you hear the stories, follow them and understand the why’s and hows it is clear to see why society needs to understand. There is a huge lack of information, and a mystery surrounding this journey. It is also sad to say, it has a level of shame and guilt attached with it also because of the negativity. So wherever possible, I am not going to focus on this. This is a joyous time 🙂 We are hoping to create a new little life to complete our tiny little family. This is going to be an exciting journey, and one that gives us HOPE. Hope that we can fulfill our dreams just as most other families have the opportunity to do almost every day.
I have become part of the surrogacy world, and made some amazing new friends. They share in the tears, smiles, and giggles but most importantly the journey of surrogacy. Up until now I have been filled with fear to share this and tell people. Scared of what people will think, and say. But following my new friends blogs, and all the support they have received from their friends and family – I decided it was time bare all. A “coming out” so to speak.
I have had some negative reaction to my circumstance from people, who think I should be happy with the one child I have and that my child should be happy without a sibling… if you have feelings like this (or anything else negative) then I plead with you to keep them to yourself as this is not what I, nor my daughter, need. I would love to share our journey of joy, hope and love with you – and would love every ounce of support from my beautiful friends 🙂 xxxx